Still surprising me

A few months ago we had dinner with a good friend of mine who is engaged and due to be married his summer.  Hers was a world wind courtship.  They were engaged after 3 and 1/2 months.  Thankfully the engagement period has lasted longer and allowed them to catch up to most couples in getting to know each other.  They will have been engaged for 18 months by the time they get married.

At the dinner my husband revealed something about himself that I didn't know... it was inconsequential really, a type of food he liked or a country he had visited... hardly earthshattering really in it's revelation.  My friend was suprised.  "Don't you know everything about each other yet?"  There was a certain condemnation in her words... like we don't talk enough to each other to get to know all of the details about each others lives.  I shrugged my shoulders "I hope I never do know everything".

I don't know about everyone else, but I really feel this way.  There's a certain joy in finding new things about the man I love.  Whether they be small and unimportant like a flavour of ice cream or even more significant i sort of love it.

My husband surprised me last night twice and it makes me love him even more.  I had written a post earlier this week about helicopter parents.  I had written the post because I wonder if i am going to end up like that, and I hope not.  I hope I will teach my children how to succeed and the consequences if they fail.  I think I am a better parent that way.  I was complaining to my husband about how much of my week had been consumed by the cleaning lady and her quest for graphs for her daughters math project and made him promise that we will never be like that.  This is where he surprised me:  "Actually, I've found a few articles I think we should read on raising children".  I was sort of floored.  I guess I expected that, like with our fertility treatments where i am the one taking the lead, understanding the tests, figuring out what the next step should be that parenting would be like that.  I had assumed that my husband was keen to "HAVE A BABY"... but maybe hadn't actually considered all of the implications straight through to raising a teenager.  But my husband is in it for the long haul.  He has ideas on family time, and homework and punishments and it was exciting for me to watch him unfold his parenting plan.

The second time my husband surprised me last night was for date night.  Thursday night is always date night and we decided to go see The Croods.  I didn't know what the movie was about but I thoroughly enjoyed it.  However, the movie made me cry.  My father is quite ill and watching the relationship between the father and the daughter made me reflect on the difficult relationship we have often had.  It isn't a surprise to my husband that I would cry.  I cry to express a lot of emotions.  When I passed my comprehensive exams for my PhD I cried so much my supervisor asked me if I understood that I had passed... but it was the only way I could express my relief! 

By contrast my husband has never cried, not since I have known him.  But he cried at The Croods.  If you are looking for a nice date night movie I recommend this... but bring tissues.