Monday 27 May 2013

In the weeds

My husband, it seems, is determined not to be one of those men who coddle the women in their life who are pregnant.  He has watched his one brother not allow his wife to do even a dish and I don't think he was impressed with the additional extra work that is created for the husband if this should occur.

Long before I found out we were pregnant we had started a somewhat drawn-out process of building a vegetable bed.  The sunniest part of our yard, and best place for growing vegetables is slopping and subject to intense weeds.  The only option was to build a box, level the dirt, roto-till the soil, cover it in weed barrier and eventually plant.  My husband was determined this was not going to be a one-man job. 

the day we bought the wood I dutifully loaded half the wood into my car, drove it home and unloaded the wood from my car... my husband took care of the other half.  The next morning I peed on a stick... i was pregnant.  But, my husband wanted me to continue with the moving of the wood, the digging of the dirt so we could sink the wood beams, the roto-tilling, the weeding etc... I happily complied until saturday afternoon.  I went to the bathroom and there was the teeniest, tiniest amount of brownish discharge.  (sorry too gross?)

The fear that it struck in my heart was immediate, I was certain it was going to be the start of a miscarriage.  I spent the next 24 hours grabbing my own boobs to see if they are becoming any less painful (oddly, the more I manhandle them the more painful they seem to get), and obsessively looking for more signs or symptoms every time i went to the washroom.  My husband was equally terrified.  I was ordered to bed for the rest of the weekend (ok... i complied with that order really fast I am exhausted). 

Fortunately there hasn't been anything else going on and today I had some nausea (although still no vomiting).  My symptoms have been mild to date to say the least.  When I finally have this baby safely in my arms I will be so very happy and grateful for the mildest of pregnancy symptoms I have experience but right now I would be so much more comforted by some compulsion to pray at the porcelain basin and something, anything that makes me feel horribly, awfully, uncomfortably, undeniably pregnant.

They finally called late Friday afternoon with the date of my viability ultrasound...  June 4th.  Another 8 days from now.  I am so anxious i have no idea how I am going to be able to wait.  This can't be good for the baby.  They should sneak me in early on compassionate grounds.

12 comments:

  1. I haven't been in your position (yet) but I can imagine the more pregnancy symptoms you experience the better (in your mind) you feel about the pregnancy. Hang in there - hope the next 8 days fly by super fast and you're soon happily staring at an image of your babe.

    The waiting game is tough on all sides, isn't it?

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    1. You will... I believe you soon will be in exactly this position. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!

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  2. OH the waiting!!! Yikes. Congrats on the pregnancy and (I am annoyed with myself for even typing this because I know it's difficult) take it one day at a time. That baby is settling in and growing. He/she will make his/her presence known before you know it:-) I am so excited for you!!

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    1. Trying, trying... it is hard to be so patient. I did feel pretty queasy this morning after breakfast. My husband and I celebrated!

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  3. Hopefully the symptoms are one offs and you only have good ahead for you...I hope the days fly for you...

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  4. I really envy people who can walk around feeling perfectly content while pregnant. I so wish that we could all be blissfully ignorant of the fact that sometimes things go wrong (OFTEN things go wrong, for some of us). Bottom line is that pregnancy is super stressful for those who struggle to conceive, and for those who have experienced loss. I wish I had some advice, but I was one big ball of stress with each of my pregnancies. What I do know is that stressing about what may or may not be happening in there isn't going to help, so it's certainly best to take things one day (one minute) at a time. But I also know that it's easier said than done. Hang in there... we're here for you whenever you need to chat!

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    1. Thank you so much! I appreciate the words... I'm sure you'll hear a lot of my worries through this medium!

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  5. June 4th, very exciting! Looking forward to hearing how it goes

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  6. I remember having thoughts of "right now I would be so much more comforted by some compulsion to pray at the porcelain basin and something, anything that makes me feel horribly, awfully, uncomfortably, undeniably pregnant." But please don't fret! Or, do, and remember that stress doesn't cause miscarriage :)

    All good things to you and the little pilgrim xo

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    1. Thank you so much for you kind words. It is agood thing stress doesn't cause miscarriage because this baby wouldn't have made it past day 3 ;)

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