Coming out of the IVF closet

I suspect it all starts with the taboo of sex.  It is something that we aren't supposed to talk about.  We sort of vaguely know that other people do "it" but we don't want to know the details.  Especially when it comes to our parents. 

This is of course different with girlfriends.  They know I have a very raunchy sense of humour and love to joke about sex.  A friend has never started the sentence "I just have to download some..." without me finishing for him "porn" even if that's not what he has in mind.

As a young woman, having her first sexual encounters my parents were the last people I wanted to find out about it.  They never knew anything about my first.  Even with my husband I have trouble admitting that there were men before him. 

I suspect that is why it all seems so strange to have a conversation about IVF with those very people.  See, sex is what is supposed to lead to babies right, and the fact that we haven't yet, even though we are "TRYING"... that's something that is hard to say to my parents.  "Yes mum, even though we have sex throughout my fertile period we haven't had success".  "Yes dad, we tried all of the positions designed to put your son-in-law's penis close to my cervix during ejaculation".  Ug.  Not a conversation I can have.

Still... through a bunch of tears I managed to choke it out over the weekend to my mother.  Not the imagined conversation above... Not with that detail.  But yes, that we were going to go to an IVF clinic.  That it was going to cost us thousands of dollars to give them a grandchild. 

I wonder if we could post it on kick-start.  Anyone wanting to give a full round of IVF would have naming rights.  Anyone contributing a half round of IVF would have the baby's room named after them.  Anyone paying an IUI would be able to have his or her name embroidered on a bib.

Procreation versus Recreation

I told my husband over breakfast today that we never need to have sex again.  He made me explain myself.  I pointed out that any further actions my husband and I take in procreating will be facilitated by doctors and speculums and needles... oh my!  Therefore we didn't NEED to have sex ever again.

My husband looked at me with an arched brow "Really?" 

Well, of course not.  My husband knows me well enough to know better than that.  But as I point out, after nearly a year of focusing on the procreation from here on out we can just consider everything to be recreation.  

"It's good right?  You'll know that I'm not using you for sperm anymore... I'm just using you for sex." 

The idea of having a baby has definitely had an impact on how we view sex.  For a few days every month there isn't the option of if.  Or which position.  Or what time of day.  Everything has to be planned.  And there needs to be enough time afterwards for me to practice my hanging upside down yoga.  (I actually have no idea if there actually is any improvement in pregnancy rates for women who contort their bodies after sex.  But it sure decreases cuddling.)

Now, we can go back to the way things were before right?  I mean just because we don't have to be in the same place when we conceive our child... but we can sure make sure that we are together when we practice. 

We celebrated by being a bit late for work this morning.