So, it is official. I am currently employed for another year. I felt I had to tell my boss of my "situation" before i could hand over my job offer to him. I had to tell him that currently, my expectation was that I would be taking maternity leave in January of 2014.
His reply "congratulations. You are going to be a wonderful mother."
I knew I could trust him with this information. He didn't have any problems with me signing the contract. He was just happy for me.
These are among the reasons I love my boss. He is fabulous!
I wish everyone could have a boss as wonderful as he is and I hope he never leaves. I hope he stays until I retire. He's amazing.
So, after I revealed my news he urged me to sign my contract and hand it over. Signed. Sealed and Delivered I get to continue in my current position until the arrival of Shmily.
Um.... yeah... Shmily is the nickname we've given to that unbridled lump of joy that is currently transforming itself into a baby in my uterus. It is an acronym that stands for "See How Much I Love You". Sappy right? But I love my husband and he loves me and together we made Shmily. Yay.
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Tuesday, 28 May 2013
Friday, 24 May 2013
Job offers and tight pants.
It is cold here today... a chilly 4 C outside, but rather than sensibly wearing pants that covered my legs I am in a sun dress and jacket because my pants were just not comfortable wearing them today. I am choosing to believe that this is because my belly is starting to bloat (and not because I ate too much fast food on our drive to New York last weekend). It has taken me by surprise how quickly this happened. Suddenly buying maternity clothes last weekend doesn't seem like quite as early as it did. I am surprised at how quickly this has come up. I mean I can still fit in them... but not comfortably. And it was so flustered because we were running late that I just tore off the pants and grabbed the first dress that I saw. I am starting week 8 today.
In other news my current contract is due to expire at the end of July. My boss had mentioned to me that he wanted to extend it for a year... the man has his shit together because I got handed a new contract this week. The good news is that he likes me enough to keep me around... the bad news is that I feel compelled to tell him about my pregnancy before i sign the new contract. I know that legally I am not required to tell him, and believe me if the man was any sort of bad boss i wouldn't tell him, but i do feel compelled to let him know because he has been so kind and respectful of me and so helpful and wonderful to work for. I in no way expect this to affect the terms of the contract.
I think it is way, way, way too early to share this sort of thing with your boss... that's the only problem. There still like a 10% chance that this pregnancy will not make it to happy healthy baby. And as much as I like my boss I don't know if I want to discuss all of the details. However, i am supposed to sign my contract by Monday. So I don't really know what else to do.
Any advice?
In other news my current contract is due to expire at the end of July. My boss had mentioned to me that he wanted to extend it for a year... the man has his shit together because I got handed a new contract this week. The good news is that he likes me enough to keep me around... the bad news is that I feel compelled to tell him about my pregnancy before i sign the new contract. I know that legally I am not required to tell him, and believe me if the man was any sort of bad boss i wouldn't tell him, but i do feel compelled to let him know because he has been so kind and respectful of me and so helpful and wonderful to work for. I in no way expect this to affect the terms of the contract.
I think it is way, way, way too early to share this sort of thing with your boss... that's the only problem. There still like a 10% chance that this pregnancy will not make it to happy healthy baby. And as much as I like my boss I don't know if I want to discuss all of the details. However, i am supposed to sign my contract by Monday. So I don't really know what else to do.
Any advice?
Wednesday, 17 April 2013
To hunt or not to hunt that is the question
Job Hunt that is....
Let me begin by saying how much I LOVE my current job. I adore it here. I love my boss. I love the support staff and coworkers. I even love what I do. It has been my dream come true ever since this job fell, quite literally, into my lap about 2 days before I was supposed to start looking for work.
My current boss is a contact from my last job. A job that was a 4 hour commute (each way) from my home. It was a commute I did on a weekly basis which meant that from 4am Monday morning until 4pm Friday night I didn't get to see my boyfriend cum fiance. When we got engaged things started to get tough at my job. They were pushing for me to move to the far away city and I flat out told them it would not happen. My fiance had been in the same job for 24 years, a union job, good pay, excellent vacations and benefits, he was not going to start again. And while I enjoyed many things about my last job the hours were not on the list. When I left I was gifted with my overtime payout. It equaled a month for every month I had been employed. I worked a minimum of 70 hour weeks. This I do not miss.
Unfortunately my current job is a contract that is going to expire at the end of July. I know my boss likes me, but I also know that there are funding issues and cutbacks and all the rest. I have to be realistic about the fact that he may not be able to keep me around.
Then there is the problem, the dream that so many of us face. I am pretty sure, at some point, some how I have a chance of being pregnant. There is that concern... how will it look if I find a new job and I get pregnant after only a few weeks? What about the time I may need to take off for fertility treatments? Is it fair to accept a job with the clear intention of trying to leave it almost immediately for a maternity leave? It is entirely possible to blow off good reference and future employment possibilities this way.
It isn't that we can really afford for me not to work. In fact I bring in a higher income than my husband does so he is not even completely sure I should get the maternity leave (in Canada this can be split by the parents - don't worry, he will be convinced otherwise... unless he is willing to try out breast feeding). But there is this constant worry that if I do find a job, the next job and then get pregnant right away that there will be a lack of trust from my employer and create a difficult work environment.
We also can't afford to wait... even a month without trying. I'm just getting too old... :( sad face.
I read a "Dear Abby" style column a few weeks back where an expectant father who was hoping to be offered a permanent contract should inform his current employer of his intention to take the parental leave before a contract was offered. The advice was he needed to come clean with the employer so as to not put the employer in a difficult position.
In my mind this is poor advice. If no offer is made then he has put himself at a disadvantage unfairly, perhaps jeopardizing the job offer. I think he should wait until the offer is made and then inform his employer. If the employer then rescinds the offer surely that is grounds for discrimination? But having said that is it much harder for a woman to hide the fact that she is expecting a child and it is much easier for an employer to terminate a woman who is within her 6 month probationary period because of noticeably protruding belly. He can easily dream up any excuse, in fact he doesn't even need an excuse just that she didn't "fit in".
So the question is... do I start looking for work?Knowing Hoping that I will be pregnant soon. Knowing that we need the money to bring our dream to fruition. Knowing if I am not working it can interfere with my maternity leave. In Canada we get 17 weeks of maternal leave at 55% pay and then 35 weeks of parental leave which can be taken by either parent. HOWEVER, it seems that this is contingent upon having worked a certain number of weeks since the last unemployment insurance claim.
My best and most hopeful dream is that they offer me a job here, and it is permanent... and sure... throw in covered infertility costs as part of my benefits package... it is still just a dream after all.
Let me begin by saying how much I LOVE my current job. I adore it here. I love my boss. I love the support staff and coworkers. I even love what I do. It has been my dream come true ever since this job fell, quite literally, into my lap about 2 days before I was supposed to start looking for work.
My current boss is a contact from my last job. A job that was a 4 hour commute (each way) from my home. It was a commute I did on a weekly basis which meant that from 4am Monday morning until 4pm Friday night I didn't get to see my boyfriend cum fiance. When we got engaged things started to get tough at my job. They were pushing for me to move to the far away city and I flat out told them it would not happen. My fiance had been in the same job for 24 years, a union job, good pay, excellent vacations and benefits, he was not going to start again. And while I enjoyed many things about my last job the hours were not on the list. When I left I was gifted with my overtime payout. It equaled a month for every month I had been employed. I worked a minimum of 70 hour weeks. This I do not miss.
Unfortunately my current job is a contract that is going to expire at the end of July. I know my boss likes me, but I also know that there are funding issues and cutbacks and all the rest. I have to be realistic about the fact that he may not be able to keep me around.
Then there is the problem, the dream that so many of us face. I am pretty sure, at some point, some how I have a chance of being pregnant. There is that concern... how will it look if I find a new job and I get pregnant after only a few weeks? What about the time I may need to take off for fertility treatments? Is it fair to accept a job with the clear intention of trying to leave it almost immediately for a maternity leave? It is entirely possible to blow off good reference and future employment possibilities this way.
It isn't that we can really afford for me not to work. In fact I bring in a higher income than my husband does so he is not even completely sure I should get the maternity leave (in Canada this can be split by the parents - don't worry, he will be convinced otherwise... unless he is willing to try out breast feeding). But there is this constant worry that if I do find a job, the next job and then get pregnant right away that there will be a lack of trust from my employer and create a difficult work environment.
We also can't afford to wait... even a month without trying. I'm just getting too old... :( sad face.
I read a "Dear Abby" style column a few weeks back where an expectant father who was hoping to be offered a permanent contract should inform his current employer of his intention to take the parental leave before a contract was offered. The advice was he needed to come clean with the employer so as to not put the employer in a difficult position.
In my mind this is poor advice. If no offer is made then he has put himself at a disadvantage unfairly, perhaps jeopardizing the job offer. I think he should wait until the offer is made and then inform his employer. If the employer then rescinds the offer surely that is grounds for discrimination? But having said that is it much harder for a woman to hide the fact that she is expecting a child and it is much easier for an employer to terminate a woman who is within her 6 month probationary period because of noticeably protruding belly. He can easily dream up any excuse, in fact he doesn't even need an excuse just that she didn't "fit in".
So the question is... do I start looking for work?
My best and most hopeful dream is that they offer me a job here, and it is permanent... and sure... throw in covered infertility costs as part of my benefits package... it is still just a dream after all.
Thursday, 21 March 2013
A two week wait I never expected!
OMG! I have a sneaking suspicion that we are the luckiest couple ever to have to go to a fertility clinic. I had expected that it was going to take us months to get in. I had even anticipated that it would be at least June because I try not to set myself up for disappointment. I have already calculated exactly when we would have a monitoring cycle, and when we would have our first treatment and when we could either get our first BFN or the BFP that we want to bad. It was like August.
But no we have an appointment in only two weeks! Crazy.
I am overwhelmed and shocked. That's so soon!
You would think that any woman who has tried to get pregnant would find the two week wait to be a breeze. I find after a year of trying I have a routine for the tww. I know which days to start feeling my boobs to see if they are swelling, i know which days to expect the cramps... i know exactly which days I can stop feeling hopeful...
This is a two week wait i have no idea how to handle.
But no we have an appointment in only two weeks! Crazy.
I am overwhelmed and shocked. That's so soon!
You would think that any woman who has tried to get pregnant would find the two week wait to be a breeze. I find after a year of trying I have a routine for the tww. I know which days to start feeling my boobs to see if they are swelling, i know which days to expect the cramps... i know exactly which days I can stop feeling hopeful...
This is a two week wait i have no idea how to handle.
Sunday, 17 March 2013
The Career-First Myth
I have a small addiction. I don't really know where it came from, but one day, out of the blue, i developed an addiction for the British Tabloids. There is something so inherently snarky and British about them I am drawn in. The tales of the American reality stars seem somehow more lurid and engrossing and yet, because they are read in the fake British accent in my head, somehow more proper and palatable too. I've always been an anglophile. From the Enid Blyton Books to the British comedies ("the picture of the fallen madona with the big boobies!") these were my people.
But the one thing that I keep seeing over and over again as I sift through my news feeds are contributing to the Career-First myth. This seems to be coming up a lot because the National Health System (lovingly called the NHS) has recently changed the conditions for fertility treatments. A woman, who used to be cut off at 40 is now allowed to receive a single free round of fertility treatments until the age of 42. Many people are appalled, why should tax payers foot the bill for people who were selfish and put their careers first! Women who preferred nights on the town with the bad boy instead of settling down.
Even worse there are the articles written by women who have undergone fertility treatments successfully at an older age and how now admonish the rest of us not to make their mistakes. There was the woman who told me that she was too selfish to have a child at the age of 43. (Read the story here) The idea is that once we hit a certain age we are no longer able to make the sacrifices necessary for motherhood. But my reading of this story is that THIS woman was so selfish at the age of 20, and 30 and remains so at 43. Does that mean that we all are?
I never felt like I put my career first. In fact, much to my husbands chagrin I would be more than happy to hang up my hat and spend the days cooing to our infant in her crib. I hate the idea of spending 40 hours a week trapped in an office and paying someone to look after my child with less love and care than I could.
Women are in this incredibly tough place. If we get pregnant as teenagers we are condemned to a life where we may not finish high school, or university. If we get pregnant in our 20's then we often find it hard to make use of our degrees as they come fresh off the press, plus in this economy it is no longer feasible for many graduates to stop at an undergraduate degree. So we move on to graduate school.
Older mothers are better in a lot of ways. We have fewer accidents with our children, they end up in the ER less often. They have better language skills. They have a better start. All kinds of good stuff. That's not to take anything away from younger moms... It is just that in the defense of my breed against the British Tabloids i need to point out that we aren't all bad.
I am what they call "well-educated" because i have completed several degrees. I have received bullshit and more shit and then piled it higher and deeper. I will use my skills to help my child develop. But believe me: I NEVER put my career first.
I just met the right man late in life. This shouldn't be a condemnation. He is the right one for me. I am the right one for him. We both want children.
People shouldn't mistake the fact that we are oddly shaped puzzle pieces that didn't fit with anyone else as a sign that our lives were ruled by the need to become CEO's and own third home.
But the one thing that I keep seeing over and over again as I sift through my news feeds are contributing to the Career-First myth. This seems to be coming up a lot because the National Health System (lovingly called the NHS) has recently changed the conditions for fertility treatments. A woman, who used to be cut off at 40 is now allowed to receive a single free round of fertility treatments until the age of 42. Many people are appalled, why should tax payers foot the bill for people who were selfish and put their careers first! Women who preferred nights on the town with the bad boy instead of settling down.
Even worse there are the articles written by women who have undergone fertility treatments successfully at an older age and how now admonish the rest of us not to make their mistakes. There was the woman who told me that she was too selfish to have a child at the age of 43. (Read the story here) The idea is that once we hit a certain age we are no longer able to make the sacrifices necessary for motherhood. But my reading of this story is that THIS woman was so selfish at the age of 20, and 30 and remains so at 43. Does that mean that we all are?
I never felt like I put my career first. In fact, much to my husbands chagrin I would be more than happy to hang up my hat and spend the days cooing to our infant in her crib. I hate the idea of spending 40 hours a week trapped in an office and paying someone to look after my child with less love and care than I could.
Women are in this incredibly tough place. If we get pregnant as teenagers we are condemned to a life where we may not finish high school, or university. If we get pregnant in our 20's then we often find it hard to make use of our degrees as they come fresh off the press, plus in this economy it is no longer feasible for many graduates to stop at an undergraduate degree. So we move on to graduate school.
Older mothers are better in a lot of ways. We have fewer accidents with our children, they end up in the ER less often. They have better language skills. They have a better start. All kinds of good stuff. That's not to take anything away from younger moms... It is just that in the defense of my breed against the British Tabloids i need to point out that we aren't all bad.
I am what they call "well-educated" because i have completed several degrees. I have received bullshit and more shit and then piled it higher and deeper. I will use my skills to help my child develop. But believe me: I NEVER put my career first.
I just met the right man late in life. This shouldn't be a condemnation. He is the right one for me. I am the right one for him. We both want children.
People shouldn't mistake the fact that we are oddly shaped puzzle pieces that didn't fit with anyone else as a sign that our lives were ruled by the need to become CEO's and own third home.
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